[Somewhat in chronological order]
1) Spanish businessmen in three-piece suits + briefcases speeding down the highways…on their Ducatis.
2) Sex and the City is shown uncensored on Spanish TV.
3) On the “Divinity Channel.”
4) On the channels on either side of Divinity, there are psychics taking live calls.
5) When Charlotte gets married on S&TC, they translate “Mazel Tov” as “Something Jews say to one another to mean good luck.”
6) Spanish pharmacies will sell you whatever you claim to need, sans prescription (if you’re not faint of stomach, google “pinworms” and imagine getting medicine for that without a prescription in the US)
7) Beer at lunch.
8) Beer is cheaper than Diet Coke and coffee at lunch.
9) Beer is the same price as water at lunch.
10) The kids have a day off from school to celebrate Columbus discovering America.
11) Despite going to a Jewish school, they also get the day off for the Immaculate Conception. Which, by the way, is roughly 3 weeks before Christmas.
12) Said Jewish school is guarded by two guys who look like they’re fresh out of the Mossad.
13) Who hand-search every vehicle entering the premises.
14) And operate the 2-ton gate that shields the school from the terrorists who live in the Beverly Hills section of Madrid.
15) Speaking to Spanish telemarketers is a joy – in fact, we keep them on the phone as long as possible in order to practice our Spanish.
16) Six hours to work before the east coast wakes up.
17) For the first time in 15 years, I am unmotivated to work.
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